you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
