i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
