why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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