do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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