when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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