i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
being pregnant is like rehab
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
