What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just gift wrapped bread.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
