I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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