i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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