I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
