Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
