Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
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So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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