So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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