YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
whose parrot is this?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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