oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
