Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
