Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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