Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
