Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
