Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.