sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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