ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
