Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
In America we eat man semen.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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