hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sponge bath it is.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Don't EVER smell your tampon
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
