Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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