Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What a dumb baby whore.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
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I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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