Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
