Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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