This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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