i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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