Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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