You're my little dorito
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
