he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
