the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
