Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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