brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
