Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize