I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
