i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
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You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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