Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
