my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
