my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
