He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I see more hoeing in ur future
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
