you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
