a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
