so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Pants are for mortals
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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