Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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