i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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