I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
