I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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