hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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