I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
third nipple confirmed
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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