Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He better not be in your backpack
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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