My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
