It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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