Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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