guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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