**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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