Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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