to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
