I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
