Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
