Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/i1tx
  Replies (48) Good night (2258) Bad night (4543)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline? http://tfl.nu/r7ot
  Replies (16) Good night (7372) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing. http://tfl.nu/o6in
  Replies (47) Good night (860) Bad night (5496)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that. http://tfl.nu/9hhk
  Replies (28) Good night (697) Bad night (5188)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  And she used to have such long ones. Sad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm. (1-918): And she used to have such long ones. Sad. http://tfl.nu/v7eg
  Replies (23) Good night (1192) Bad night (5651)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant. http://tfl.nu/kaeb
  Replies (28) Good night (1255) Bad night (6136)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why is your signature on my underwear?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Why is your signature on my underwear? http://tfl.nu/8itl
  Replies (19) Good night (6179) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/bzms
  Replies (9) Good night (1360) Bad night (2580)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/ygax
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (1837)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire. http://tfl.nu/a418
  Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (2361)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail. http://tfl.nu/vfu4
  Replies (5) Good night (1567) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked. http://tfl.nu/yes9
  Replies (13) Good night (5213) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy. http://tfl.nu/it0x
  Replies (6) Good night (2504) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis http://tfl.nu/gujt
  Replies (14) Good night (3757) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas http://tfl.nu/8d4j
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (682)

Randomize