You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
