my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
